No. 6 // The PATIENCE and “Feeling” like I’m Back in High School

It’s already been several months since we first announced our intent to adopt a mini Oho of our own and we’ve already received such incredible support. We can’t thank you enough and it’s so great that we don’t have to go through this alone. 

Maybe you know this, or maybe you don’t, but I’m a pretty private person.  “Feelings” is the type of work that gets quotes (air quotes or real ones) when it comes into the conversation.  That’s one reason why Mel and I are such an incredible couple; she has enough “feels” for the both of us.  Granted this also has cause a bit of an unbalanced ratio of Mel to Matt blog posts (not that I’m keeping score or anything) so, I’m stepping up my game today. Wish me luck!  Also, as I’m typing this, I’m playing the Doogie Howser, M.D. theme music, I’m hoping it will help. 

Mel has already shared our December blues, but beyond that things have been really quiet.  Which has been disappointing.  I think after getting such a prompt response from our original announcement, both of us are “feeling” a little restless (or at least I am).  This is old news to you, but on average, it’s around a 24 month wait.  Despite knowing that, I still can’t help but think that number is the average and surely, “we’ll be one of the couples that brings the average down, not up”. We both want a family of our own so bad, and with each passing day that 24 months starts to become more real.

In short, Mel and I could use your prayers for a little more patience (yes, I realize what I’m doing by asking that).  Also, I’m thinking I’m going to need more hobbies, because reading isn’t cutting it! Mel just may get her wish on redoing the laundry room, master bath, and whatever else she can think of.  For the good of our marriage and budget, I beg of you to share some suggestions, because without a distraction, I feel ourselves second-guessing everything we put out there!  In short, it’s like high school all over again. 

Circa 2000. High School versions of us. (No judgment, ok?) 

Circa 2000. High School versions of us. (No judgment, ok?) 

Ok, all you cool kids out there, just keep in mind that you were lucky SOBs, because high school wasn’t a breeze for the rest of us. Shocking right? The introverted person, not fitting into a system that expects you to be social.  To me, high school was all about second-guessing myself all the time.  What I wore, what I said, what sport I played, and who I hung out with.  Maybe everyone feels that way on some level, but suddenly I feel like I’m right back there, only this time it’s adoption. 

With adoption, it all feels so much the same.  You have to put yourself out there, and the second you do, you suddenly start second guessing that action.  Did we put enough personality in our webpage and adoption letter, did we use the right pictures, will everyone think we are total dog nuts (we are), is our website too flashy (at least it doesn’t flash “please give us your baby” in the background), or do we look like a stable enough family to be trusted with a child (after reading this, maybe not).  I honestly feel like I’m back in 10th grade second-guessing those cargo pants I wore (I shouldn’t have), and hoping someone will look past it and trust me with a child

But since we’re on the topic of feelings (air quotes or not), while high school may not have been a barrel of monkeys, through that experience I gained some pretty awesome friends (even if they are regular misfits), and met my wife.  Even more importantly, I got through it and we will get through this adoption too. Not alone, but through God’s blessing and the support of incredible people like you (your prayers and help searching from mini Oho couldn’t hurt though).

So, this wasn’t so bad, I’m going to need some new theme music though; I keep trying to write in time with the music.  Until next time, love you all and thanks again!


Matt Oholendt